


Despondent

by MistressDarkness



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: 4x06, Best Friends, Episode: s04e06 Holy War Part Two, F/F, F/M, Family, Holy war, Hurt/Comfort, Sisters, chosen family, multi-chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressDarkness/pseuds/MistressDarkness
Summary: Picks up right where 4x06 Holy War Part 2 ended. Wynonna is feeling the aftermath of what she did, while Waverly tries to pick up the pieces and talk some sense into a stubborn gunslinger.Includes Wayhaught, Wyndoc, Wynaught friendship and supportive sisters.*This will be a multiple chapter story
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Wynonna Earp, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynaught friendship - Relationship, Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp/Doc Holliday
Comments: 7
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a while, but since Wynonna Earp won the People's Choice Award last night for Best Sci-Fi Show (amazing job to everyone who voted), I decided to post the first chapter of this story in celebration! Congratulations everyone! Please drop a comment if you have time :) Thanks and enjoy!

CHAPTER 1

Gentle fingers ran up and down Waverly’s bare arm giving her chills and providing comfort at the same time. She turned on her side, smiling down at the red headed goddess beside her. “Good morning fiancé,” she beamed. 

“Good morning fiancé,” Nicole repeated back to her, loving the feel of the word as it rolled off her tongue. She reflected a smile of her own back at her lover, though in her eyes, nothing could compare to the one Waverly emitted; it could light up a room.

“God I still can’t believe it,” she squealed, shifting closer in excitement. “I keep thinking this is a dream I’m going to wake up from.”

“It’s real Waves, this is happening. Nothing can stop me from marrying you,” Nicole reassured her.

Waverly quickly covered Nicole’s mouth with her hand, her eyes widening. “Shhh, don’t say that! It’s like inviting the bad things in! Initiating a challenge!”

Nicole chuckled at her fiancé’s adorable antics, pushing her hand away. “It’s okay,” she smiled. “ _We’re_ okay.”

Waverly tilted her head to the side, pursing her lips momentarily, a devilish grin forming. “Well, I’d say better than okay.”

“You bet your ass,” Nicole pulled her down into a kiss.

“I’m not betting my ass, I like it just where it is thank you very much.”

Nicole smiled into the kiss, “I do too.” Her hands slid down, squeezing gently to reaffirm her words. She could feel the vibrations from Waverly’s giggle.

Waverly pulled back, glancing at the alarm clock on her night stand. She did a double take, “oh my god!” She stood up, pulling one of the blankets with her and almost tripping over it, leaving Nicole to try to grasp for her who just missed her lover’s arm and ended up sprawled out across the bed. 

“Noooo,” Nicole moaned, wanting more time with Waverly in bed. “Babe, we don’t have to be anywhere today!”

“It’s almost two in the afternoon! I never sleep in this late!”

Nicole smirked, “well, what we did last night was pretty exhausting. I don’t think there was a lot of sleeping involved.”

Waverly gave her a look. “I know but we haven’t even eaten breakfast yet! It’s the most important meal of the day!” She paused, suddenly becoming worried, “wait, did you hear Wynonna come in this morning?” Normally by now, Wynonna would have come inside from the barn to use the bathroom or grab some cereal, or even just a liquor refill. 

“Maybe she wanted to give us some uninterrupted time to celebrate our engagement?” Nicole offered as an explanation. Upon saying it, the couple looked at each other and shook their heads: definitely not. Nicole sat up; maybe Waverly had a point. Her anxiety began to grow as well. Living for 18 months, 3 weeks and 4 days fending for herself while taking care of a teenager left her with some tendencies she wished she could erase, one of them being how easily she became anxious and worried.

“What if she got snatched from her barn bed again? What if a demon found her? Oh god, why did we ever think her sleeping out there was a good idea?!” Waverly rambled, panic edging into her voice.

Nicole got up, rushing to Waverly’s side, stopping her mid-pace, hands on her shoulders. “Whoa whoa, don’t get ahead of yourself there.” If there was one thing that could distract Nicole from her own anxiety, it was helping Waverly through hers. “Thinking up possible scenarios isn’t going to help anyone. If you are that worried, why don’t you go check on her?”

Waverly took a deep breath, “you’re right. I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me.”

Nicole brushed a stray hair behind Waverly’s ear. “Living in Purgatory will do that to you,” the corner of her lips turned upwards.

“Thanks sweetie,” Waverly kissed Nicole’s cheek. She grabbed a loose fitting sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants before rushing down the stairs. She couldn’t get the image of Wynonna’s tear stained face out of her head since last night. Sure Wynonna was happy for them, but there was pain in her eyes as well. It was clear something had happened between her and Doc outside.

Waverly slid her boots on one at a time, slipping her coat over her shoulders before going out into the snow. The brisk air hit her face, causing her to pull her coat closer around herself. The chill was bone-deep. She wasn’t sure how Wynonna slept in the barn at night. The door creaked open, Waverly calling out to her sister. “Wynonna?” No response. Was she still sleeping at this time of day? She moved towards the lump under the covers. Jesus, what if she froze to death in this weather while she and Nicole were inside-nope, no stop that line of thinking right there! Though she did hasten her steps. “Wynonna?” Waverly asked louder. She stopped in front of her older sister, Wynonna’s eyes still closed. “Wynonna!” she called more urgently, shaking her. A groan escaped her throat, her eyelids scrunching shut even tighter against the intrusion to her sleep. Waverly breathed a sigh of relief, she was alive at least. Still, something wasn’t right. 

“Wynonna, it’s almost 2 o’clock,” she tried.

“Mmm, then let me sleep,” Wynonna mumbled.

“Two in the afternoon, not morning.”

“Same thing.”

“Hardly,” Waverly replied. “I-” she stopped, her boot knocking into an empty bottle of whiskey which clanked into an equally empty beer bottle. Oh. She picked up the large glass bottle, wondering how much whiskey was in it when she started drinking last night. Add that to the shots she did in the house. “Partying it up with Jack Daniels last night?”

“And his friend Jim Beam,” she murmured, eyes finally opening cautiously against the light streaming in through the cracks in the wooden walls. 

Waverly sighed, sitting down near her legs, placing the bottle back on the ground. Wynonna automatically scooted over to give her sister some room. The younger Earp rested a hand on Wynonna’s leg. “What’s going on?” she asked softly.

At hearing the concern in her sister’s voice, Wynonna tried to appear better than she was. “Just celebrating my little sister and my best friend getting engaged,” she smiled, holding up an invisible shot glass to cheers with.

“By yourself?” Waverly shook her head, seeing right through Wynonna’s rouse. “You can’t fool me Wynonna, I know you better than anyone.”

Wynonna blew out a breath, “it’s nothing Waves. I had too much to drink and overslept. It’s me, it happens.” 

“That’s a cop-out and you know it,” Waverly accused. Sure her sister drank a lot and had hangovers, but not like this. She hadn’t seen her sister this bad since Dolls, and hadn’t seen that haunted look in her eyes since she came home after being held hostage and almost maimed by the Jack of Knives. Even the thought of that still struck fear in her.

Wynonna considered a sarcastic remark using the word cop but ultimately decided against it. Instead, she used what energy she had to push herself up slowly into a sitting position, trying in vain to prevent the throbbing pain in her head she knew was to come. Yep, there it is, slamming into her like a semi. She pressed a hand to her forehead to ease the pulsating ache. She was trying to prove to Waverly that she was fine and yet she couldn’t even sit up without almost tipping back over.

Waverly caught her, guiding Wynonna to lean on her shoulder. “Seriously, what happened?”

Wynonna waited until the throbbing subsided. “I Earped it up, per usual.”

Waverly frowned, “not sure I like how our last name keeps being used as a bad thing, or well, your last name I should say.”

Wynonna’s hand gripped Waverly’s, “ _our_ last name,” she said adamantly. No matter how Wynonna felt, she would always put Waverly before herself. She hated whenever Waverly had doubts she was part of this family. She would use her dying breath to reassure her that she was indeed her sister and that she belonged.

Waverly nodded, “our last name,” she repeated. The more she said it, the more she actually felt like it might be true. She wasn’t an Earp by blood, but she was one by choice. She didn’t want to dwell too much on that thought, or else she knew Wynonna would focus on her instead of on what’s really bothering her. “And don’t change the subject.”

“Why are you down here in the cold, dank barn instead of upstairs with Haught Stuff? I’m sure her lady bits are waiting for you to get back to consummating your engagement,” Wynonna deflected, hoping to push her sister back into her lover’s arms, away from the dark abyss Wynonna was quickly sinking into. She didn’t want to pull Waverly down with her, especially when she and Nicole were finally happy.

“We already did that...a lot… but that’s besides the point! Nicole will be waiting for me when I get back. Right now I’m more concerned about my sister who apparently tried to drink herself into a coma and won’t tell me why!” Waverly voiced her frustrations. 

“Because you deserve to be happy Waves! You don’t need my shit to drag you down. I mean Jesus, can you at least get 24 hours just to yourself to be happy and worry free?” The last part was directed more towards the universe than to anyone in particular. Okay, and maybe towards herself as well. Some big sister she was.

“You are the _best_ sister Wynonna,” Waverly said puzzled, “where is this coming from?” The self-loathing coming off of the older brunette was palpable. 

Oh shit. She said that last part out loud? Well fuck. Apparently her brain needed to learn how to operate her mouth properly, or not operate it...or something. “I’ve done some real bad shit before Waves, but I always tried to keep some type of morals or else I would lose myself completely. I’ve skated that fine line so many times it was only a matter of time before I fell.”

Waverly listened as Wynonna finally began to open up, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion at her sister’s words. “What do you mean?”

Wynonna looked at her sister, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. “Shooting Holt.”

Waverly shook her head, “no. No, Wynonna, you had to do that. He would have come after us. He said so himself.”

Wynonna pursed her lips, shaking her head slightly, “we don’t know that for sure. Doc-” her voice cracked just saying his name. “Doc got him to agree to a truce, and when he turned around, I shot him anyways. I shot him _in the back_ Waverly. He felt comfortable enough, _safe_ enough, to turn his back on me, and I killed him without hesitation.”

“Holt arrested you and wanted to hang you when we first got back from the Garden! He would have killed you!” Waverly tried to defend her sister’s actions, despite knowing deep down it was the wrong choice. Somehow, if she could absolve Wynonna of her sins, maybe she could absolve herself of her own over killing Margo. She shook that thought out of her head, Wynonna needed her right now. “There was no guarantee he would have stuck to the cease fire.”

“Because I didn’t even give him a chance to try! What do I always say? ‘Make your peace.’ Well he tried to make his and I fucking took his life for it!” Wynonna jumped up, ignoring the way her stomach turned upside down and her head felt like it was going to explode. She threw her hands out to the side, incredulously, “I _murdered_ a _human_. Not a revenant, not a demon, a fucking human being!”

“And I murdered Margo!” Waverly shouted back, trying to ease the burden Wynonna was finally caving under. 

Wynonna’s face hardened at Waverly calling herself a murderer. “No, Margo was a fucking bitch. She was dangerous. She tried to kill us multiple times, and even used Nicole to do it! Nicole _died_ because of her! _Died_. She only came back because you killed Margo. You saved your girlfriend’s- sorry, fiancé’s life. You had every reason to go after her. I would have done the same,” Wynonna reassured her. 

“And you did!”

“No, what I did was definitely not the same thing! You killed someone who sent a reaper after me and you. Someone who took advantage of, used, and almost caused the permanent death of your fiance. Margo had to die to save Nicole. Holt, he died because I couldn’t stop myself,” the last part came out less sure than the rest. She would always be positive that Waverly was the light and good in this world, just as she would be sure that she herself was the dark and destruction. She hurt everyone she touched: Waverly, Nicole, Jeremy, Dolls, Robin, Gus, Curtis, Shorty, Daddy, Willa, Mama, Nedley, Eliza, Charlie, Mercedes, Doc, Alice… “Alice,” Wynonna whispered, sinking to her knees, her momentary strength fading fast.

Waverly knelt in front of her. The last name she expected to come up in this conversation was her niece’s. Her eyes searched Wynonna’s despondent gaze. “Wynonna?” Her sister remained quiet, lost in memory. “Wynonna, you’re scaring me.” Wynonna’s eyes shifted to Waverly’s, her empty stare frightening Waverly more than any revenant ever could. “Wynonna?”

Wynonna seemed to realize where she was again, although her eyes still held the same hollowness. “I found Rosita.”

“Rosita?” Waverly questioned, again blind-sided by a name she never expected to be mentioned right now. 

Wynonna nodded. “She was the woman in the painting I needed to bring to the sisterhood of the traveling pants in order to get Peacemaker back, which is a whole shituation in itself.”

“What does Rosita have to do with all of this?”

“She told me why she betrayed us, why she attacked us and tried to take Alice. Or rather who she was trying to take her for,” Wynonna gritted her teeth. Waverly’s eyes widened. “Margo put out a ransom on Alice, she tried to _buy_ her, to do only God knows what to her!” Wynonna seethed, a fire dancing untamed in her eyes, the venom in her words promising the bloodshed that had already occurred, and may happen yet again. 

“God,” Waverly breathed, realizing the extent of what fate could have befallen her precious niece. Collecting herself, she pulled Wynonna into a hug. “Margo is dead, she can’t hurt Alice.”

Wynonna wanted to hug Waverly back, but she felt like she didn’t deserve the comfort or the reassurance. Wynonna’s arms hung limply at her sides, which did not go unnoticed by Waverly. 

“I didn’t just blame Margo. The Clantons, every single one of them, are a threat: to me, to you, to Alice, to all of us. They would never stop coming for us. I couldn’t live with myself if I lost any of you,” tears streamed down her cheeks. “Not after Dolls. I can’t- I can’t do that again Waverly, I just can’t!” She gripped her stomach doubling over and rocking herself, a sob wrenching itself from her.

“Hey, hey!” Waverly called, gripping Wynonna’s shoulders in her hands. “Wynonna, look at me!” At her sister’s refusal to meet her eyes, Waverly gently lifted Wynonna’s chin, forcing her gaze upwards. “You aren’t going to lose us! Nicole is okay, more than okay, and I’m right here in front of you. Alright?” Wynonna’s breathing was erratic, her whole demeanor a shell of her former self. Waverly had once told her sister that she couldn’t keep killing people and pretending like it didn’t affect her; she was worried it may have finally caught up with Wynonna. This last one tipped her over the edge. 

“I had to keep everyone safe,” she whispered, “in trying to save everyone, I lost Doc.”

“You didn’t lose him,” Waverly denied, “he was here last night.” She thought back to last night, to Wynonna’s tears and Doc’s sullen look coupled with the fact he wanted to leave early. “Did something happen with Doc?”

Silent tears leaked out of the corners of Wynonna’s eyes, cascading down her cheeks. “He’ll never forgive me for this,” she breathed, voice cracking. 

Waverly pulled Wynonna into another hug, Wynonna falling into her sister’s arms. Waverly cradled her older sibling’s head in the crook of her shoulder, stroking her hair. Wynonna’s body trembled in her grasp. “That man loves you Wynonna, there’s nothing you could do to change that.”

Waverly felt Wynonna shake her head. Wynonna lifted her head, her red eyes doubtful. “No, not this time. I did the one thing he despises, and in a sick twist of fate, I did the exact thing he saved Wyatt from.”

Waverly wasn’t sure how to respond to that one. She could see why Doc would take that hard, but this was Wynonna they were talking about. He should know better than to compare her to some common murderer sneaking up on Wyatt. Everything she did was always for the good of her family. Sure she screwed up sometimes, but she was trying and she always had good intentions. “I’m sure he didn’t-”

“No,” Wynonna interrupted her. “You should have seen his face. It’s like, like I betrayed him, disgusted him. He once told me someone who shoots someone else in the back is a coward and not worth remembering,” Wynonna explained, pain etched into her features. “And that’s what I am now. Maybe that’s all I’ve ever been.” Worthless. 

“Never,” Waverly took Wynonna’s face in both of her hands, her thumbs swiping away stray tears. “You are not a coward, you are anything but.” Waverly instantly regretted all of the times she had called Wynonna that very same name in anger and hurt; if enough people call you something, eventually you start to believe it. She hated that she had contributed to her sister’s pain. And she was pissed at Doc for the role he played in all of this. “You are worth remembering,” she leaned her forehead against Wynonna’s, emotion coating her words, “you are worth the world.”

“I’ve ruined any chance we ever had at...whatever we were, or could have been. I’ll never know now because just like everything else, I’ve fucked that up too,” Wynonna closed her eyes, tears dripping onto the dirt and straw below them. She sniffled. Her throat constricted around her words, “I’ve lost him for good this time Waves.”

Waverly’s heart ached for her sister. She deserved so much better than this, and again the world had to bitch slap her in the face. “It’s Doc, he’ll come around.” Even if she had to make him, Waverly vowed.

Wynonna didn’t respond, not believing the younger woman’s words, but too tired to argue about it. She slumped in Waverly’s arms, leaning sideways against her chest. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the world and just focus on the warmth and support her sister was providing, finally allowing herself that small comfort. Unfortunately, the noise in her head was just as relentless.

Waverly leaned back against the side of the bed frame, taking Wynonna with her. The position reminded her of when Wynonna was pregnant, right after she had given the older woman Doc’s note.

A lump formed in her throat, realizing just how deep into this hole Wynonna had fallen. It had been happening slowly over the years, so slow that no one had really paid any notice to it. The world chipped away at her piece by piece, until there was almost nothing left. But Waverly refused to let that happen. She would fix this, somehow. First thing she needed to do was take care of her sister. Once she was sure Wynonna would be okay, she was going to find Doc.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all of the kudos! Drop a comment if you have some time, I'd love to hear what you think! Thanks and enjoy :)

CHAPTER 2

Waverly helped ease Wynonna up off of the dirt floor, “come on, let’s get you inside.”

“I’m fine here,” Wynonna mumbled, even as her body was being lifted up. She wanted to stay in the barn and be alone in her misery. She didn’t need anyone else seeing her like this, it was bad enough Waverly already had.

Waverly shook her head, “I’m not leaving you out here in the cold, especially right now.” She steadied Wynonna on her feet. Her sister’s confession seemed to have drained any energy she might have had. Waverly wondered just how much sleep Wynonna actually got last night. With Holt’s death and Doc’s words eating at her, it would be amazing if she got any rest at all.

The younger Earp helped her sister slide her boots onto her feet. She draped a jacket over her shoulders before taking Wynonna’s hand in her own, leading her out the barn door. Wynonna squinted against the sun, shuffling her feet through the fresh snow towards their house. Waverly frowned at Wynonna’s gait; the normally confident and purposeful way she carried herself was replaced with slumped shoulders and defeat. Her slow pace made the short distance feel like it stretched on for miles. Waverly hated seeing the usually strong, sarcastic and badass woman so beaten down.

Waverly opened the front door, ushering Wynonna inside. The stairs creaked, drawing her attention to the woman standing on them. “Hey,” Nicole said, her face dropping when she took in Wynonna’s appearance. Wynonna didn’t even look up. ‘Is everything okay?’ she mouthed to her. Waverly shook her head subtly. 

“Why don’t you take your old bed and get some rest? I’m sure it’s comfier than the barn. Rachel went out and she won’t be back for a while.” Nicole tried to keep her voice casual despite how she really felt. 

Wynonna wanted to protest, but laying down for a while in her own bed sounded nice. At least she would be out of everyone’s way in her old room. 

Waverly looked to Wynonna but received no response. She almost wished she would argue with them about it, just to see that spark back in her eyes. At least when she was upset in the barn, she had shown emotion and been emphatic. But this? This scared her even worse. She seemed empty inside, broken. Words that seemed so out of place when talking about Wynonna Earp. She felt sick to her stomach seeing her like this, a knot forming in her throat. Wynonna gave up everything to protect her family. She had to fix this.

The petite woman put an arm around Wynonna’s shoulders, guiding her to her former bedroom. Nicole waited just beyond the curtains, not wanting to intrude but also wanting to be nearby.

Waverly sat her sister on the bed. She took care, removing Wynonna’s boots and jacket before laying her down, pulling the covers up over her. She tucked her in, smoothing hair away from Wynonna’s face. Wynonna’s eyes never landed on her, her gaze fixed on a spot on the wall she wasn’t really seeing, lost in her own mind. Waverly sighed, leaning down to place a soft kiss on Wynonna’s forehead. “I’ll be in the other room if you need me.” She waited for a moment, hoping to get some sort of acknowledgement but not really expecting one. She exited slowly, pulling the curtain to her room closed. 

Nicole stood there waiting for her, questions and concern gnawing at her. Waverly nodded, knowing Nicole needed answers. Waverly took her fiance’s hand, walking to the opposite corner of the house; far enough away so that their lowered voices wouldn’t be overheard but close enough that they could hear Wynonna if she needed them. 

“What’s wrong? Is she okay?” Nicole asked before Waverly could even say anything.

Is she okay? That seemed like such a loaded question right now. “No, but hopefully she will be,” she answered simply.

“That sounded cryptic as hell.”

Waverly bit her lip, worrying it between her teeth. “After I killed Margo, I wasn’t in a good head space. Wynonna came, and we were about to leave when Holt yelled, gun raised at us. Wynonna put herself between me and the gun, per usual.” She shook her head at her sister’s selflessness. “She had Peacemaker raised, but Doc showed up and lowered it, trying to talk Holt down, something about a truce they had struck? I’m not sure, I haven’t had a chance to ask Doc about it.” She glanced back towards Wynonna’s room, feeling guilty even talking about this. “When Holt put his gun down and turned away, Wynonna shot him.” She watched Nicole’s reaction carefully. 

For her part, Nicole had already known Margo and Holt had died, the Earp sisters had informed her of that much. But they had both conveniently left out how. Nicole was surprised to say the least. She didn’t agree with it, but she would never judge Waverly and Wynonna for what they had to do. She once told Waverly that she would shoot anybody for her, and she whole-heartedly meant it. She couldn’t say that and then pass judgement on them for protecting their loved ones. 

“And it’s obviously affecting her. She’s...god I don’t even know,” Waverly ran a hand through her hair. “She’s beating herself up over this. She almost gave herself alcohol poisoning last night while we were-”

“Hey, hey,” Nicole stopped her. “We didn’t know, but we do now.” There was no point in going down the road of blaming herself; Wynonna apparently was doing enough of that for everyone anyways. “We’ll help her through this.”

Waverly nodded. “She thinks she’s this horrible monster, a murderer, and then with what Doc said…”

Nicole sighed, of course Doc had somehow made this worse. Despite the celebrations last night, she had quickly noticed how the two of them had stood on opposite sides of the room. Doc had slipped out without a word to anybody. “What did he do?” her protective side coming out. 

“Apparently he told her that anyone who shoots someone else in the back is not worth remembering.”

Nicole easily put the missing puzzle pieces together. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Waverly rubbed her arm, her eyes shifting towards the curtain again. She wanted to be back by Wynonna’s side, curl up in the bed with her, take some of her pain away. But there was something she needed to do first. “I’m going to have a little chat with him.”

“Want me to come with?” Nicole’s tone hardened.

Waverly smiled, appreciating the offer. She loved how quick her fiance was to jump to her sister’s defense. “No, I need you to stay here with Wynonna. I don’t want her to be alone right now.”

“Of course,” Nicole answered, her face and voice softening. “I won’t leave her.”

“I know you won’t,” Waverly placed a hand to Nicole’s cheek. Nicole leaned into the warmth, kissing Waverly’s palm. Waverly’s thumb caressed her skin. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” With one final look in Wynonna’s direction, she grabbed her keys and closed the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly finds Doc and gives him a piece of her mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Sorry for the long delay, I have been going through a lot mentally and physically from my own health issues to having my beloved dog pass away in my arms 3 weeks ago. It's taken me a while to be able to write again, but I'm getting back into it. This chapter was a bit cathartic to write, getting a lot of emotions out. I'm very interested to see how the show plays out Wynonna dealing with her inner demons. I almost went the route the trailer shows, but decided to do it this way instead. I'm eager to see the new episodes, but sad at the same time that this could be the end.
> 
> Enjoy, and remember to keep fighting to Bring Wynonna Home! We are here and we stay.

CHAPTER 3

Waverly barged into Shorty’s Saloon, immediately spying the gunslinger walking down the stairs, straightening out the cuff on his sleeve. He looked up at the sound. “Waverly,” he greeted. After returning from the Garden, Doc no longer had a place to live. Once they saved Nedley and retook Shorty’s, the two men came to an agreement: Doc could live upstairs again while Nedley ran the bar. Doc helped out from time to time, but operating Shorty’s gave Nedley’s life a new purpose since having retired. He was not a man who liked to sit still. He refused to turn into one of those old seniors who did crossword puzzles and watched Jeopardy all day. Not happening. 

Nedley stood behind the bar, getting the place ready to reopen after Nicole’s date with death. He eyed Waverly. Having known the woman since she was a child, it was easy for him to tell she was livid about something. 

“John Henry Holliday,” Waverly called, marching up to him.

Doc bristled at her tone. Using his full name was never a good sign. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Doc asked, sarcasm leaking into his voice. 

“Don’t be an ass for starters!” Waverly began, her anger fueled by the recent memory of her sister’s tear-stained face. 

Doc put his hands up in mock surrender. 

“Second, you owe me an explanation for what you said to Wynonna!”

Doc sighed heavily, his eyes rolling up to the heavens slightly. “And what pray tell did she divulge to you?” Of course Wynonna told Waverly, he should have known. Those two were closer than any siblings he had ever met. They had a unique bond, and not just because of the Earp curse. It ran deeper than that. 

Waverly was the most patient and kind person Nedley knew. If she was this pissed off, then he had no doubt in his mind that the other man deserved whatever he had coming to him. Nedley shifted his eyes between the two, wondering whether to stay or go. Ultimately, he decided on the latter. Waverly could definitely hold her own. If anything, it was Doc he felt bad for, having to face the woman’s ire. “I’m going to go down to the basement, check inventory.” He focused on Waverly, “let me know if you need anything,” he tipped his head forward, eyebrows raised, his meaning clear. Just because she could handle herself doesn’t mean he didn’t feel that fatherly protectiveness over her. 

Waverly nodded, “thanks Nedley, but I got it.”

“I know you do,” Nedley mumbled, patting her shoulder gently as he walked past. 

“I’m waiting,” Waverly announced impatiently, tapping her foot for added effect.

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me what happened!”

“Well apparently you already know that, so why bother repeating it?”

Waverly growled, “because I want to hear it from _you_. I want to know how you could be so cold and heartless and -”

Doc scoffed, “me heartless? Shouldn’t you be asking Wynonna that?”

Waverly surged up to him, jabbing him so hard in the chest that Doc took a step back, the unexpected force throwing him off balance. “That is exactly what I mean! You know _exactly_ why she did what she did, and yet you still threw it back in her face.”

“Just because I know why she did it doesn’t mean I approve of it! What she did was,” Doc shook his head, still having a hard time believing the Wynonna he knew would commit such a heinous act, “it was deplorable.”

“And where do you get off being so high and mighty huh? You aren’t exactly an angel yourself there,” she accused. A quick finger came up to stop him as his mouth opened, daring him to utter a quip about her being an actual angel. 

“I never shot someone in the back! His weapon was lowered, he turned away and he was _leaving_. We called a truce Waverly!”

“And you didn’t think to tell us ‘oh hey by the way, I’ve been talking to your mortal enemy behind your back and he’s agreed to stop fighting so it’s all good now.’ Would have been great to give us a heads up!” she shook her head incredulously. “We didn’t know if he would stop or not, and what, out of _everything_ that has happened recently, gave us any indication he would honor it?”

“He was tired Waverly, it wasn’t his fight. He inherited it just like you and Wynonna did with the revenants. He wanted no part of it.”

Waverly made a frustrated sound. “Well it’s great to know that now, but you’re a little late. All we knew,” she amended herself, “all Wynonna knew was that he was threatening me with a gun. That Margo used Nicole to try to kill us, that...” her voice broke, “that she caused Nicole to _die_.” She swallowed the bile that rose up her throat at uttering her fiance’s name and the word ‘die’ in the same sentence. She couldn’t keep the tears from leaking out. “The Clantons took over Purgatory, turned the town into a living nightmare complete with public hangings, one of which Holt and Cleo tried to sentence Wynonna to! They tied her up, stabbed her, and left her to be eaten by a monster! They sent a reaper after Wynonna, and one after me. They turned Billy, their own flesh and blood, into one of those creatures! And they tried to buy Alice,” she seethed through gritted teeth. “What, out of any of that, made us think they could be trusted? You tell me Doc.”

“I got to know him as a person, as more than an enemy. He wanted to be more than his past, as do I,” Doc admitted.

“How are we supposed to know that if you don’t talk to us? Holt was holding us at gunpoint. All Wynonna was trying to do, all she has _ever_ tried to do, is protect our family, you included. And you turned your back on her,” she accused. “You may not agree with what she did, but she did what she thought was best. Not for herself, but for _us_.”

Doc opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it, pursing his lips and shaking his head. Waverly’s words were at war with his own thoughts and feelings regarding the situation. 

“Whether she will admit it or not, Wynonna needs you.”

“I promise you, when Wynonna needs me, I will be there.” Despite how upset he was with her, he still couldn’t stand the thought of any harm befalling the eldest Earp. If she was in danger, he would be by her side in a heartbeat. That would never change. “But I cannot pretend that everything is okay when it’s not.” 

“She made a mistake!” Waverly shouted in frustration. She thought she was finally getting through to him, but apparently not.

“A mistake? She shot someone in the back Waverly! After he had given up!” Doc’s voice rose to match Waverly’s. 

“I’m not saying what she did was right, but I also seem to remember you making some pretty damn big mistakes too! Using me as bait for Constance Clootie?” Doc visibly winced at the memory, one he still regretted to this day. “Working with Bobo? Turning into a vampire and not telling anyone? Killing Charlie? Attacking Charlie and me, and then trying to kill my father again? And do I need to list all of the shit you did back in the 1800s?!” 

“I’m not proud of what I’ve done. I want to atone for those sins, and the ones I’ve committed in the past.”

“How forgiving do you think Wynonna would have been had you told her that you purposefully put me in danger just to lure Constance in to get your revenge?” she flipped the script, turning it back on him. “I was at her mercy, and I wouldn’t be here right now if Wynonna didn’t show up when she did.”

“Not very forgiving at all,” he admitted. If there was one thing everyone knew about Wynonna, it was her fierce protectiveness of her sister. Anyone who hurt Waverly signed their own death certificate. “I am deeply sorry for that day Waverly, I hope you know that,” he said sincerely. “I’m not the same man I was when I first came out of that well. I want to do better, to be better. And I have you and your sister to thank for that.” He clearly remembers the all consuming need for revenge. It was all he could think about for decades. Wynonna had talked him down from the ledge many times, especially when he was ready to sacrifice himself to fulfil his mission. She showed him another way of doing things, something he had tried to do with Holt. 

“Then prove it, be better.” She shook her head, her own pain laced in her words, “I’ve thought you to be many things Doc, but I never thought you would hurt my sister like this.”

“Me hurt _her_?” he asked in disbelief. “Do you know how I met Wyatt? I saved him from someone shooting him in the back.” History, in its own twisted way, had a tendency to repeat itself.

“You can’t compare her to some lowlife!” Waverly defended, appalled at Doc’s remark. “She didn’t kill Holt for fun, or to be mean, or even to get revenge against the Clantons. She did it to make sure her family would be safe, her daughter, _your_ daughter. She would do anything to protect that little girl, even give up a piece of herself by taking another human life. And now she has to live with it, and it’s eating her alive. She sacrificed her soul to keep us safe, and you spit on that sacrifice and walked away.”

Doc’s head snapped up, his concern for Wynonna outweighing his stubborn pride. “What do you mean?” He knew killing someone, anyone, took its toll on a person. He saw what it did to Wynonna when she first started killing revenants, especially after she took out the Seven.

Waverly sighed, her tone losing its bite. “This wasn’t just some revenant or demon she killed Doc, she killed a human. She’s only ever done that three times before, and do you want to know who they were? Shorty, our sister and our father.”

Doc sucked in a breath. “Fuck,” he let out, his voice lowered. In each of those instances, she had been forced to take the lives of people she loved.

“Yeah,” Waverly agreed, a silence coming over them as her previous words hung heavily in the room.

“How is she?” he asked softly, not sure if he was entitled to know the answer after their argument. 

“She’s a mess,” Waverly answered honestly. “She’s blaming herself for what happened to everyone. She called herself a murderer. She drank herself into a stupor last night, to the point where I wasn’t sure she was going to wake up,” fear etched into her words. “And she’s been trying to hide it all from us, because she doesn’t want to be a burden, despite how badly she clearly needs us right now.” She sighed, “She’s been through so much shit Doc, all of her life. Even from the beginning, with our abusive and emotionally absent father and our mom who left us. Then the seven attacked our home, took Willa, who we presumed dead, and Wynonna accidentally shot Daddy while trying to save him. Wynonna told the truth about what happened and it landed her in a mental institution. She made me promise not to tell anyone what I saw that night for fear the same thing would happen to me. Uncle Curtis and Aunt Gus took me in, but when Wynonna was released, they left her to the foster care system.” Waverly still held a grudge against them for not only forcing her away from Wynonna, but leaving her sister to be tossed from one house to another, from stranger to stranger. “She was bounced around from home to home, being abandoned by people who didn’t really want her in the first place. She was in and out of juvie and mental institutions. She still refuses to tell me what she went through in there. The townspeople all knew her as ‘the girl who killed her own father.’ They thought she was crazy, that she made up the demons to cope with what she did. Kids bullied her, adults treated her like the town’s bad seed. It got so bad that she finally left Purgatory. She didn’t come back until Uncle Curtis died, on her 27th birthday.” She didn’t need to explain the significance of that number to Doc. “She wanted nothing to do with this town or its people, but she stayed for me.”

“When the revenants tried to hang you,” Doc remembered, the timeline having caught up to his being freed from the well.

“Yes. Since then she’s had to kill countless revenants, been kidnapped and psychologically tortured by the Jack of Knives, found Willa just to have her turn on us and Wynonna was forced to shoot her, mourning her a second time. She’s gone through an unplanned pregnancy while fighting off supernatural creatures, almost had said baby stolen by someone we considered to be an ally, had to give Alice up in order to protect her, dealt with you turning into a vampire and killing Charlie, getting our mom back only to have her leave us again, losing Dolls,” she paused, that one having hit all of them extremely hard. “She was forced to kill Shorty to save him from possession, the one person in this town outside of our family who had actually been kind to Wynonna when she was growing up. She’s been possessed and saved me from Mictian as well. She had Bulshar in her mind, killing her over and over and threatening your life until she finally broke. She lost both of us to the Garden, and fought like hell to get us back. She’s had a scary ass reaper sent after her. She had the townspeople turn on her again and try to hang her for a crime she didn’t commit. The Clantons have come at us numerous times, and now she finds out it was them who tried to buy Alice like she was some type of hot commodity!” She took a deep breath. “And god knows what else Wynonna has been through that she has neglected to tell either of us.” She licked her lips. “With everything she’s gone through, everything life has thrown at her, she’s managed to come out on top. But this one, I’m worried this has finally pushed her over the edge.”

“I can’t condone what she did,” he said, all traces of anger gone.

“You don’t have to,” Waverly shook her head. “She just needs to know that you’re there for her, no matter what. Please don’t give up on her Doc.”

He was taken aback by the notion. “I would never...and I’ve told her as much.”

“Did you tell her that before or after you told her that anyone who shoots someone else in the back is a coward and not worth remembering?” a slight edge creeping into her tone.

Doc closed his eyes, the weight of his words and the impact of them hitting him full force. “Before,” he whispered. 

“Well then, I think she may need to be reminded,” Waverly gave him a small reassuring smile, the first one he’d seen on her since the previous night. “She needs you Doc.”

He sighed, taking his hat off to place it on the bar. “she doesn’t need me or anyone else. She’s strong.”

“Can she do this on her own? Yes. But we both won’t like who she becomes if she does. You see what it’s done to her. She feels like she has to shoulder this burden on her own, for fear of us getting hurt. Everything she does is about protecting her family. And we’re it.”

After everything he said… “I don’t know that I can.”

At his hesitation, she added, “Right before you turned away with Holt, you said if there’s one thing Wynonna has taught you, it’s that there’s always a choice. You have a choice Doc, I hope you make the right one.” Waverly rubbed his arm, a trace of a smile on her lips, before walking out the door, leaving Doc to reflect on their conversation and his own emotions.


End file.
